Got Marriott?

I saw an article written by a guy named Pat Dooley from the Gainesville Sun online yesterday. He writes, what I guess he thinks is a catchy and cute little preseason article every year called the Dooley Decimal List (complete article here). Here, in his own words, is the purpose of the article is as follows.....

"These rankings are not where I expect the teams to finish in the SEC, but where I rank the football programs at each school based on many factors — talent, recruiting, coaching, facilities, fan support, athletic director, stability, etc."

He, being a homer, ranks Florida number 1. I have no beef with that. It would be hard to argue with that. Although a case could be made for others.

He has Mississippi State ranked 11th. Again, I'm not gonna argue that either. It's subjective, he's entitled to his opinion.

But I did take exception to what he said about State. And I quote.....

"It's in Starkville. Points are automatically taken off. the facilities are below average. And the Dan Mullen hire was an odd one. Mullen may turn out to be a good head coach, but it's going to take a long time to turn it around. The pieces simply are not in place."

Now, I have no problem with his last sentence. Even the most die hard State fan knows the talent isn't where it needs to be.

However, the first two sentences pissed me off. I'll argue the third sentence. And the fourth sentence struck me as, well, odd.

Therefore, I decided to send an email to Mr. Dooley and ask him some questions.

To paraphrase, I told him I saw where he took the tired old line about Starkville. I then asked him if he had been to Starkville, and if so, did he truly explore the town and campus or did he just stay in Tupelo with the Gators and drive straight to the stadium.

I also invited him to stop by a tailgate. I told him he would be welcomed and maybe he could learn more about State and Starkville.

I told him that I agreed that the talent wasn't good at State right now but at least we were trying now.

I also asked him why he thought that the Mullen hire was odd. I asked him did he think it was odd when Oklahoma hired a young, bright, energetic assistant coach from Florida named Bob Stoops.

I then thanked him for his time.

In a nutshell, here was his reply........

Been there many times. There is no Marriott within 30 minutes. That's all I need to know.

Wow. No Marriott. I guess Mr. Dooley considers a Marriott to be the pinnacle of sophistication. They probably have the 4 pm early bird special at his Marriotts of choice.
I've stayed in a suite at Trump Plaza, a suite at the Ritz in Maui, and once had drinks one evening on the balcony with our bungalow neighbors Mr and Mrs Jimmy Buffett on a private island in the Caribbean. But I just must stay at a Marriott in Athens, Auburn, or Baton Rouge someday ,once I get get upwardly mobile. I'll put that on my bucket list.

Hey Ole Miss Fan. Does Oxford have a Marriott? If not, better get one soon or you will be considered backwards.

As for why he considered the Mullen hire odd.....

"Mullen may work out but the reason I thought it was odd is that he was not considered a great recruiter at UF and not a people person. Kind of a different guy who kept to himself and Tebow."

Well, Pat, that may be what you saw, but Mullen came in to a down program, with the program up the road flying high, and arguably dominated the state of Mississippi in recruiting.

You say he is not a people person. Well, the boy learned quick. Upside what we had in reaching out to the fanbase and getting it energized, he's getting people fired up like like Obama at a Black Gay Pride rally in Miami.

According to you, he did nothing but hang out with Tebow. Well, that was his job.

Was he not nice to you Pat?

I'm sorry, that's probably happened to you a lot. It does when you look like this.......



Nice 70's do. The fashionably long comb over. The middle age crisis goatee. Now my dad told me never to judge a book by it's cover. I admit, when I first saw your picture I said "typical." But I gave you the benefit of the doubt until I got your reply.

Tell the truth dear readers. Does this dude has Marriott written all over him, or what?.

Now tell me Pat, does this look like a guy who stays at the Marriott?........



Coach Mullen and his wife.

I know your type,Pat. You don't much care for guys like that do you? While you were cleaning the spit tube of your tuba, guys like that were going off to screw the cheerleader captain after throwing 3 TDs in the homecoming game.

But you have your revenge, don't you Pat? You now always have the last word.

I bet thousands read you a day. Maybe 400 read me. But you know what? You're still a wanker who stays at Marriotts.

Pat, I take it that you are an educated man. Couldn't you have thought of better relies to my questions?

Then I got to thinking. Maybe there is another reason to hate Starkville for you, Pat. You said you have been many times. That means you must have been here the last three times the Gators played here. I can see why it was probably no fun. The Gators came in favored all three times. They also got that ass beat all three times. The big bad Gators are coming in again this year.Now, I will say I think the Gators are gonna kill us.

But you know what, Pat? I thought that the last three times, too.

I see where on your blog you brag about shooting an 85 at Augusta National. Not bad.

But tell me the truth. You looked forward more to checking into the Augusta Marriott, didn't you?

I once shot 74 at Doral. Let's have a match. I'll find a course near a Marriott.

I bet you have Marriott Rewards out the ass. What makes it better is you get those points while your newspaper pays for the room.

But you are entitled to your opinion,Pat, with your Dooley Decimal List.

If I had to classify your reply under the Dewey Decimal system, I'd have to put you under 100.

But hey, no hard feelings.

My dad also told me never to argue with people who buy ink by the gallon and paper by the roll.

He also said , "Don't stay at Marriott, they suck".

One more thing ,Pat. I was thinking of loading up some Coo-Chees and tooling on down to St. John.

But alas, there is no Marriott.

Whatever shall we do?